From the scam of a lifetime department: A spammer in our Broadband Tweaks forum is pushing a referral scam service called Juice Boost, which promises users 2Mbps speeds for free, anywhere there's a phone line, using "State-of-the-art data compression, byte stream and ultimate data burst technology". The service also promises you'll never see a blank page, a piece of spam, or a worm again, or the company will pay you.

While our users might smell a rat immediately, would your parents? Grandparents? According to the website, the technology, which is currently in beta, "Works with any PC or MAC of the lowest specification believable". So those of you still running a 133Mhz relic won't be excluded from the party.

Of course it's simply dial-up compression software with a coat of paint at the foundation of a pyramid scam, but the promises made by the technology include some of the most outlandish and amusing claims we've ever seen.

While users who visit the site won't see these claims, users who respond to a particular referral code - usually provided in e-mail or message board spam - will. We've omitted that code to keep the referrer from making any money for links. You can however buy their product on e-bay if getting ripped off was on your action-item list for today.

Here's some of the promises you'll see when you log in from a referrer:

"Speed up a dialup connection to over broadband speeds for FREE."

"Speed up a broadband connection to 2MB for FREE."

"Save money by disconnecting broadband and using JUICE for FREE."

"Make your Internet experience more pleasurable."

"You will never see another dead, blank or irrelevant page ever again and if you do, we will pay you £500 GBP*."

"You will NOT get another spam email EVER, but if you do we will pay you £100 GBP* in compensation."

"You are guaranteed to get a minimum connection speed of 2MB with 100% uptime. If we fail to meet either or both we will pay you £500 GBP* per failure."

"YOU will NEVER receive a virus or worm in your email inbox again as we operate up to the millisecond software to stop the same, but if you do get one we will pay you £500 GBP* compensation."

"JUICE is able to block every porn and adult site on the Internet if you choose to filter it and if we fail you we will pay you £200 GBP* per reported instance."

"That's how confident JUICE is," the site proclaims. "We can STOP your child from chatting to people who pretend to be children in chat rooms by using amazing breakthrough IP filtration and parenthesis technology."

Parenthesis technology! Where do we sign up?